Weddings

Last Sun I went to my cousin's wedding. She's my cousin but I don't remember talking to her... Not like I hate her or what, just that we're distant? Anyway random statements about weddings you might find interesting. And hopefully useful.

1. Smartphones ware probably invented for people to kill time at weddings. (You can read about 200 pages of an e-book at a wedding. It's personal experience.)

2. A wedding invitation that says 7pm means 8pm++ in Malaysian time. (I hope that statement is not seditious.)

3. Over-puffy dresses are... just not good looking.
4. Giving everyone macarons before the wedding is an excellent idea! (So we can eat it before the wedding finally starts. Macarons have high sugar content and is therefore filling. Oh and it makes friends <Nic> jealous.)
5. The most annoying thing about attending weddings is not about how long we have to wait or how slow the food is served. (It's about meeting relatives you hate but you can't avoid. I am so NOT going to invite some of those people<If they can be considered so.> to mine.)
6. It's mean not to provide roasted pork on your wedding. (That's just too MEAN! I came just for the roasted pork AND the shark fin soup. I know shark fins are cruel etc but since they ordered it anyone I feel guilt-free.)
7. Do not propose at a wedding that is not yours. (Someone did this and was largely ignored by everyone. I'm like, ignore and keep eating my fish.)
8. It's super important to have a decent emcee at your wedding. (Nicole!!! I hereby book you as the emcee for my wedding! That is, if I managed to have one? The emcee was REALLY HORRIBLE. Terrible horrible. Absolutely horrible. He keeps saying all these stupid things that shows his idiocy. It's just unbearable. He's like, what, more old-fashioned than a freaking dinosaur and a total sexist PIG. I feel so sorry for pigs. He makes really weird, un-classy, no-taste remarks. Among the things he said were, 夫唱妇随 [In English it means something like, the husband does something and the wife follows...] Why the heck should I follow what my husband does?? It doesn't freaking make SENSE. Moreover, he wished the couple to have many children. How the heck does he know they wanna have children? If I'm the bride I might fail to control myself and rush up stage to kick him off from the mike. Argh!  I simply cannot stand his very existence. How can someone be so damn irritating?? And I suspect that his booming voice gave me a headache.)
9. If you can sing like Flo, you can perform at weddings.
10. The first dish served is always the most popular. (Everyone is just too hungry...)
11. I'm not a Christian but I might choose to have my wedding in Christian style. （The chinese wedding is just too unromantic. If I have a wedding like this I WILL cry. The bride and the groom didn't even kiss! Or say that they love each other, for that matter. Plus, the emcee spoils any single ounce of romantic-ity in the atmosphere. DO NOT CHOOSE SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON AS THE EMCEE!!!)

Lesson of story: Choose emcees WISELY.